Wilderness Warriors Gifts

'You... Tarzan... Me... Jane's divorce attorney.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Not that net!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Monkey-artist

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Touché"

Save the unicorn.

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Climate Change

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."