Wilderness Warrior Gifts

Roughing it in the Great Outdoors.

"Hey, Robinson Crusoe! Taking the laundry to mommy? Wow, you sure know how to 'rough it'! Haha!!" "Just ignore them." "Can you bring us back some of her blueberry pie? Ha!"

'Look at this guy, listening to music on his earphones when there are bears around! I guess somebody's about to learn a lesson in hunting safety!'

'I got to sit down. I feel a pain in my lower back coming on.'

'Watch it! He's got pepper spray.'

Survivalists Snack Stop.

"We'll be okay as soon as I can find a place to plug this in."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Support Group for a Good Problem

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Sausages.

Deer Season Open.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Monkey-artist

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Travelling

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Sport Utility Boot.

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Motor Tourism

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'