Wilderness Wanderer Gifts

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

"This would be a great place to put a huge city."

You were here, now you are lost.

'Primitive camp' has WiFi.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"No...ha-ha, no, but seriously, boy, I'm going to have to eat you now."

"There's nothing on that sign about hugging."

Scout Stuff.

"Get me the hell out of the wilderness!"

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

Last mirage for the next 20 miles.

'Before handing out my punishment, please remember that I'm your hunting dog, and that you need me.'

'The wilderness -- and step on it!'

'Well, George certainly came to Deep Camp prepared, this season.'

Bob found maps very misleading.

"A perfectly working medical alert button! ...But no one ever heard it!"

"If I had known we'd be this long wandering in the wilderness, I would never have worn these shoes."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'I thought Bill had a bad back.'

Rugged Individualist - Idiot.

Cry of the Wild- 50¢.

Eskimo near 'You are here' sign.

Not quite as famous as his cousin - Tarzan, King of the Apes - was Barry of the Beavers, Lord of the Lodge!

'Granted, he's a bad shot, but you have to agree he's consistant...'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Just once I'd like to eat without cringing in terror."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

LOOK BHIND U!

'To hell with the rules.'

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

'Best guide I ever had.'

'Must be getting late - it's suddenly gone dark.'

'...you have your ideas about survival aids and I have mine '

May the forest be with you!

Davy Crockett - Closet Animal Liberationist