Nature Warriors Gifts

"I need some garden work done. A strangling vine of unthinking obedience has completely overgrown my tree of liberty out frint."

The Jeopardy of Progress

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

Monkey-artist

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Bees SOS

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

"Touché"

Save the unicorn.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

The Perfect Cannonball

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'Hey, Grandma! Watch how long I can hold my breath underwater!'

"It's trickle down."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Climate Change

Wrong leadership.

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

"You overwatered the plant, again."