Wooden Chair Whisperer Gifts

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Compression

Bassoons.

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Violin Practise

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Are you done yet?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

Creator's Block

"I think we could work very well together."

Support groups for car repairs.

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Happy Violinist

When did you last have your oil changed?

"It's worse than I thought."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

Psychic car mechanics.

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

CLEAR!

"It's garage music."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."