Wooden Chair Whisperer T-Shirts

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Compression

Bassoons.

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Violin Practise

'Are you done yet?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

Creator's Block

"I think we could work very well together."

Support groups for car repairs.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

Happy Violinist

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

Psychic car mechanics.

"It's worse than I thought."

He did love tinkering on his cars.

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

When did you last have your oil changed?

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

CLEAR!

"It's garage music."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."