Wood Chopping Champion Gifts

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Cat in Tree.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"January 11. Still struggling with the novel. Chopped more firewood."

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Tree and man

Due to rising fuel prices and tired of dodging kickback, Fred tries an alternative method of cutting firewood.

"Don't overdo it, dear."

You B*****D

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

"Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to use the saw on this one, too."

'You just GOTTA do things the hard way, don't ya.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'You get to peddle for the next log, Babe.'

Sign on the door at Karate School.

'There's no inflammation of the wood pole. . . but he does appear to suffer from hardening of the chain saw.'

Thanksgiving: 'What did I want to do now?'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

'Jimmie, quick! Run and get the first aid kit.'

"What kind of fire, hon - oak, maple, or apple?"

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

"This job blows."

'Cold this morning, isn't it?'

"Sounds like my daughter's back from her karate lesson."

"My wife has a black belt in cooking, she can kill a man with a single chop."

Hunter facing angry woodland animals.

A man with roots and barcodes for legs