Wood Chopping Champion Gifts

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Cat in Tree.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"January 11. Still struggling with the novel. Chopped more firewood."

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

There! What are the posters? Eco club is promoting walking, biking or bussing to school. That's a good way to save gas! I'm so glad you agree! I need a ride to get them to school!

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Tree and man

Due to rising fuel prices and tired of dodging kickback, Fred tries an alternative method of cutting firewood.

"Don't overdo it, dear."

You B*****D

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

"Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to use the saw on this one, too."

'You just GOTTA do things the hard way, don't ya.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'You get to peddle for the next log, Babe.'

Sign on the door at Karate School.

'There's no inflammation of the wood pole. . . but he does appear to suffer from hardening of the chain saw.'

Thanksgiving: 'What did I want to do now?'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

I told you, when you chisel a statue, start at the top.

'Jimmie, quick! Run and get the first aid kit.'

Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I an accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord of firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date by mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.

"What kind of fire, hon - oak, maple, or apple?"

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

He starts a lot of projects but doesn't finish them.

"This job blows."

'Cold this morning, isn't it?'

"Sounds like my daughter's back from her karate lesson."

"My wife has a black belt in cooking, she can kill a man with a single chop."

Hunter facing angry woodland animals.