Witty Wanderer Gifts

Mechanics price list.

One Way/Two Ways.

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

Wanted - Mug Shot Photographer

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

A moocher borrows a cup of sugar to make a sponge cake.

'When all else fails I could always become a careers teacher!'

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

March Hare

"I have no idea, and keep in mind that the people who call me the Human Compass are the same ones who call you Curly."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Bed Spread"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Higher wisdom...

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

Lost and Profound.

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'