Witty Retorter Pillows

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'Oh, and one more thing

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Heart To Heart

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

People want as much government as they deserve.

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

Oscar Wilde

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''