Witty Retort Collector Pillows

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

The Snarky District

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Touché"

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

My boss is a real turd.

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'