Witty Retort Wizard Pillows

King vs King- who's the clown?

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Backfire

Miss America IQ Pageant

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Heart To Heart

The Art of Bantering!

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'Always the wise guy.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

Do you believe in money at first sight?

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

"She can be outspoken."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

People want as much government as they deserve.

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

Flat Foot

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."