Witty Retort Collector Gifts

Looking for a gift for someone who treasures quick wit and clever retorts? Our curated selection of fun and witty products celebrates the art of the perfect comeback. Whether they love a humorous mug, a shirt that speaks volumes, or a print that captures their sarcasm, you'll find something to match their sharp sense of humor. Surprise them with a gift that honors their knack for turning a phrase or their collection of hilarious retorts.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

from $19.00

The Snarky District

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"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..." mockup

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

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"Touché"

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"Hell, George - they even miss ME!" mockup

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

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"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB." mockup

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

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"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England." mockup

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

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"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!" mockup

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

from $19.00

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,' mockup

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

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Slave Drivers.

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'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.' mockup

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

from $19.00

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye." mockup

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

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"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip." mockup

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

from $19.00

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash. mockup

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

from $19.00

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent. mockup

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

from $19.00

My boss is a real turd.

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'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...' mockup

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

from $19.00

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child mockup

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

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"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way." mockup

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

from $19.00

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.' mockup

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

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"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner." mockup

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

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"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

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'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.' mockup

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

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'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.' mockup

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

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'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.' mockup

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

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'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.' mockup

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

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"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine." mockup

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."

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"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial." mockup

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

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'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

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'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.'

'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.' mockup

'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.'

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'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.' mockup

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

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'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.' mockup

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

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'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.' mockup

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

from $19.00

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...' mockup

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'

from $19.00

Witty Retort Collector Gifts Collection

Witty Retort Collector Mugs

Explore our collection of witty retort mugs and find a clever addition to their morning routine or gift it to their collection of humorous essentials.

Witty Retort Collector Pillows

Check out our witty pillows—ideal for adding humor and personality to any space, perfect for those who love witty retorts.

Witty Retort Collector Prints

Discover humorous prints that celebrate clever comebacks and sarcastic humor—perfect for decorating with style and wit.

Witty Retort Collector T-Shirts

Browse our witty retort t-shirts for a fun way to showcase their sharp wit and love for humorous banter—an instant conversation starter.