Witty Retorter T-Shirts

Debating Society. This is not like sports. "Comeback performer of the year" means something different here.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'Oh, and one more thing

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Heart To Heart

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

People want as much government as they deserve.

This beer has given me the courage to invite you back to my place. This wine has given me the courage to invite you to drop dead.

David Letterman

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

Oscar Wilde