Witty Retreater T-Shirts

'My main means of defense, believe it or not, is the fleetness if my feet!'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

Heart To Heart

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

One Way/Two Ways.

Mechanics price list.

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"The entire time you were talking to Marissa you had a piece of spinach between your teeth."

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

"My advice, don't marry for money. You can borrow it for 3.5%."

"I felt the Earth Move!"

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

'I believe the saying is 'trust but verify,' not 'trust, but what would mother do'.'

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

Never try to solve an economic problem with a political answer.

A Butt Ox

March Hare