Witty Repartee Fan T-Shirts

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

'A cheeky red?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

A lesson in wit

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

Cylinder Head

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

Sheet Music

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'