Witty Reader Gifts

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

'Dumming it Down for Dummies' Book.

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Bed Spread"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Bangers and Mash

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

Paper Boy

"Inactivists"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'This is a no rise office.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

Cold caller.

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

The Gilmore Girls

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'