Witty Pet Owner Gifts

'Beware of the intelligent dog.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Bad dog!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

When Pugs dream.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

The Haunted Dog House

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

Bad Dog

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."