Lighthearted Pet Owner Gifts

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

'Next!'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

To them it's just a Prada handbag

"He followed me home, can I keep him?"

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

Pet Pony

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

K9 Literati.

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

Two cats are high off catnip.

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Good book?'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

A girl with a dog and balloons

When Pugs dream.

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'