Witty Conversationists Gifts

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Jokes machine.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

The Algonquin Round Table

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"So, what is your star sign?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Bat out of Hell

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"Try the fish. It's brain food"

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'

"I don't think you can claim that Martin Amis plaguerised your work just because you both used the words 'to','if' and 'but' on page 46."

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

Lite Marriage.

"I can't live without you in my life, but I can live without you in my way.''