Wisecracker About Wellness Gifts

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

PSA Banter.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Tour de Frank"

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

Exercise now!

Exercising

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

Vaccination Passport

Keep Fit.

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Hand sanitizer

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Valleyview diet clinic

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

Tree Pose To Support

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Wash your hands

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"