Winter Safety Expert T-Shirts

'And watch out for the ... ice!'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Well, they have to hibernate somewhere...and your airing cupboard is no exception."

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

How to save on your heating bill...

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"

How You Know It's Spring...

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

Alberta on fire

'Tell him there's no such thing as the abominable snowman.'

"You know that's a waste of time, just chuck it on the fire to keep us warm."

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

'Yeah sure it's cooking us from the inside out, but think of all the money we'll save on heating.'

Facing a Cold Winter

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

"The DEC advises hikers to stand out by wearing bright orange. I feel so much safer now!"

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Health food - salt substitute