Winegrower Gifts

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Who's the new guy?'

'I don't get it. Ask him to start over.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Toast'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'