Winemaker Gifts

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"I still enjoy running my winery, but these days my real passion is the meth lab."

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

A Good Batch.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Ah, Gavin's dreaming that he's running."

"We want this wine to be assertive and stubborn, but with a sense of humor."

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'Yeah, I think it has too much tannin, too.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Sorry we won't be able to help repair your ship; our entire planet is devoted solely to making wine. I'm sure you must be devastated."

'Have you ever crushed grapes, Mr Bigfoot?'

'It's time to retire from the winemaking business, Maurice - Just look at your skin-to-pulp ratio.'

Wine Barrel Leak

Giant looking for Jack at top of beanstalk: 'Fe-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman ... and I'm also getting notes of nutmeg with an elderberry undertone ...'

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

'And this is our National Debt Red. It's deep, long-lasting, and we know there's going to be a lot of interest.'

Mmm, where does the house wine come from? It's local. (Home brew kit in the back).

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"You could be just the man we're looking for!"

Wine: New and Old.

"That's not our logo. That's the company's flowchart."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

'If the pesticides, herbicides and fungicides keep us from selling this as wine, how about we go into the nightlight business?'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'What do you mean, you don't want to dry grapes in the sun for dessert wines, like your father? He's a big success--and only 32!'

'That's disappointing - we've only gotten 10 years out of this 'Vintage of the Century' sign.'

Please do not pet the grapes.