Wine Making Gifts

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

Home Wine Making Kit.

'Thank goodness the FDA now requires us to number each grape. We were almost caught up around here.'

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'He must be a top vintner. He's out standing in his field.'

who says you cant make your own wine out of gooseberries

"The movie star who owns this winery bought it to 'have fun.' I'm glad somebody's having fun."

'Would you like to try some of our home-made?'

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

Home Wine-Making Kit...

'I heard you turned water into wine. What strain of yeast do you use?'

Wine Stomping Secretary

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

Home-made wine

'So that's why you keep asking for grapes!'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"My husband makes this wine."

The Vineyard

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

"Jackson, you've turned into sour vinegar and have to go!"

Wine Making

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

"Warm buttery overtones reminiscent of the summer sun setting over the Tuscan hills. A reipe peppery bouquet, shame it tastes like camel piss."

"Made with pride in our basement."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'My husband earned $50,000 last year stomping grapes, but it all went for carpet cleaning.'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

"No head, pale color, just like Marie Antoinette after the guillotine."

'One unexpected problem I've run into, since making my own wine, is finding foods to pair with 160-proof Burgundy.'

'And, to think, you always said the old winemaker would never let his son do anything around here.'

Wine Making Society (Press buzzer on the floor).