Wine-making Artist Gifts

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

true love.

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'