Wine-making Artist Gifts

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

true love.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'