Wine Producer Gifts

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'Yes, actually you DID get me out of the tub....'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'