Quirky Winemaker Gifts

Home Wine Making Kit.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'A cheeky red?'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I make it myself!"

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Who's the new guy?'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Red Wine

"So much for that vintage!"

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'