Quirky Wine Enthusiast Gifts

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

Home Wine Making Kit.

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

the Lesser-known Nogs

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'

Swine List

We're diversifying. Behold: chicken eggnog!

Angelic Wine

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

'If the pesticides, herbicides and fungicides keep us from selling this as wine, how about we go into the nightlight business?'

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

"Dinner is poured."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great wines for under $5.00 a bottle.'

'Can I interest anyone in a Chateauneuf-du-Popsicle?'

'The art is only so-so, but the California white wine is quite acceptable.'

Life gives you rutabagas- make rutabaga-ade.

'Wine for Left-Handed Women from North Phoenix, Who Wear Glasses and Like Cats? Sorry, we only have from South Phoenix.'

Slush Poopy.

"Wine with dinner tonight, Tom - and it's locally sourced!"

Frosty has Trouble Holding His Egg Nog

"People will buy any stupid thing if properly marketed."

Mom wine tasting