Quirky Wine Enthusiast Gifts

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

Home Wine Making Kit.

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

the Lesser-known Nogs

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

Swine List

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'

Angelic Wine

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

We're diversifying. Behold: chicken eggnog!

'If the pesticides, herbicides and fungicides keep us from selling this as wine, how about we go into the nightlight business?'

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

'The art is only so-so, but the California white wine is quite acceptable.'

'Can I interest anyone in a Chateauneuf-du-Popsicle?'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great wines for under $5.00 a bottle.'

"Dinner is poured."

Life gives you rutabagas- make rutabaga-ade.

"Wine with dinner tonight, Tom - and it's locally sourced!"

Slush Poopy.

'Wine for Left-Handed Women from North Phoenix, Who Wear Glasses and Like Cats? Sorry, we only have from South Phoenix.'

Frosty has Trouble Holding His Egg Nog