Snarky Wine Lover Gifts

'The art is only so-so, but the California white wine is quite acceptable.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

Waiter watering down wine

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

'Dagnabit, stranger! Is you sayin' I don't know the difference between a cabernet sauvignon, and a merlot?!!'

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

Don't confuse me with justice, counselor. Justice is blind. I'm just blind drunk.

Swine List

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

Angelic Wine

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great wines for under $5.00 a bottle.'

"Dinner is poured."

"...and I'll have the Chilean Merlot - shaken, not stirred."

'This ones very cheap but will get you very drunk. It's from our new Chav range.'

"Actually, we don't sell much Viognier, but the guy who sells me Viognier? -- that guy sells a lot of Viognier."

"Mr. Rotgut! Mr. Rotgut! A car's coming! A car's coming, and he sure doesn't look lost to me!"

"If van Gogh tasted this wine, he'd cut off his tongue."

Mom wine tasting

A man drinks wine

'I'm getting turpentine..I'm getting lighter fuel..'