Wine Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Wino Appreciation Group

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"Would sir like to try the wine. . . ?"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

'How come your oldest vintage is on the top shelf?' 'I can't reach up there!'

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

"A whino!"

Waiter watering down wine

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"This bottle is defective - it stopped pouring!"

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

"He's a wino-saur."

'I quite the wine class after 5 minutes. The instructor started by saying that wine a liquid, but it's dry.'

'The dining room? It's 18 wine bottles long, and 15 wide.'