Traditional Winemaking Gifts

'Harry, you have impeccable qualifications. I'm pleased to offer you the position of Master Wine Maker.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'