Homemade Wine Making Gifts

'Sid uses all 10,000 grape types in his homemade wine. It's a great way to spread the blame.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

You've Had Enough!

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Who's the new guy?'