Winery Owner Gifts

'I'd like this pinot noir, but I can't afford it - and I own the winery.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

'Sell some? But then there'd be less for me.'

'All of our wines are made me on the premises.'

"Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

Opening the Barrel

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Who's the new guy?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'