Winery Employee Gifts

Winery employees must wash feet after rest room use.

Interview at Novox Winery Inc.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I make it myself!"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'We'll take it!'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Nouveau wine