Winegrower T-Shirts

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Who's the new guy?'

'I don't get it. Ask him to start over.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I make it myself!"

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Toast'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Red Wine

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"So much for that vintage!"

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'