Wine Straw Wizard Gifts

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

Keith Floyd.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Don't feel bad. The rest of us can't hold our liquor either."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"My husband makes this wine."

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.