Wine Straw Wizard T-Shirts

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Portfolio, 2011

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

The Connoisseur.

"My husband makes this wine."