Wine Wizards T-Shirts

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

'What wine do you recommend with Valium?'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Yoga for Alcoholics

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Shakespeare Quote

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Portfolio, 2011

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

Spell-Check Bee

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'