Window Wizard Gifts

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

'Have you considered having double glacier installed?'

'You really do need new glasses!'

J.Froggett Glaziers - "Now go get some business"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Piano Recital

Ninedency: A budding tendency

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

The Family Joules: Part 21

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"It's a play on words."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'