Wilderness Survival Gifts

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

"Oops."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Well, at least he was tasty."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"How's the salmon?"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Just a little seasoning...

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

Running out of Gas.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"But mom, he followed us home!"

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

'Ed,did you remember to bring the insect repellent?'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"