Wilderness Skills Gifts

Up North Training

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Desert Island BBQ

Deer Season Open.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"How's the salmon?"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

Desert Island Mishap

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'This is you, enlarged.'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'