Wild Office Decorator Gifts

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'But this is what you demanded; a corner office with Windows.'

"Yes sir, I'll admit I was sceptical about the whole 'mini-office' concept at first..."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

"When you work from home everyday is Casual Day."

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

Two stressed drinking birds

The lap dog, I can work around. The laptop cat, not so much.

'It's not here for artistic value. It's here to discourage employee theft.'

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'I felt that cobblestones in the atrium would add an air of permanence to the company.'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'I must have that painting for my office.'

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

"I told you when you moved into Dr. Condee's office that his bookshelves were due to collapse any day."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Cat woman struggles to work at home.

'That's the workstation we use for district assessment scoring, or on a slow day, for playing solitaire.'

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

Computer Mouse.

"It was the boss' suggestion...that I take a working vacation...in the office."

Do you realise you're talking to the man with the biggest office, the longest desk and the plushiest carpet?

'Your new grade level rates an office, but the furniture comes assembly required.'

'We won't give you a raise, but you can put this on your desk.'

Diplomats in the form of doormats

'Excess is the way I measure success.'

"I'll have my people zoom your people."

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'