White-collar Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"White Collar Prison"

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Hellbillies.

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"I've detected an intruder."

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."

Department of Commerce, Economic Forecasting, Division of Estimates & Alibis

"I did warn you it wouldn't pay!"

'Of course, you'll be paid a generous scapegoat bonus.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

"Making millions through insider trading wasn't a problem, hiding it from the I.R.S. was."

'Oh, for heaven's sake, put the gun away. We're white-collar criminals. We can't just shoot it out with the cops.'

Accountant beneath picture of three wise monkeys.

"When I said you had to balance the accounts..."

'Excellent, Goldsmith. Offering me your resignation is the best idea you've had since joining this company.'

"Mr. Rod says I make too many mistakes on the job and I need to plan to make fewer of them."

"You would get a job as a bookkeeper, soon quit and change jobs again and again. Now you are charged with being a serial embezzler."

Bonus, bonus! - we'll I got to keep the envelope my pay slip was in

"When you're counting as many beans as I was, a few are bound to stick to your plate."

"I'm an air traffic controller. Please don't ask 'What's up?'"