White-collar Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I did warn you it wouldn't pay!"

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"White Collar Prison"

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

Hellbillies.

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."

Department of Commerce, Economic Forecasting, Division of Estimates & Alibis

'Of course, you'll be paid a generous scapegoat bonus.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

"Making millions through insider trading wasn't a problem, hiding it from the I.R.S. was."

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

'Oh, for heaven's sake, put the gun away. We're white-collar criminals. We can't just shoot it out with the cops.'

Felony State Bank

"When I said you had to balance the accounts..."

Accountant beneath picture of three wise monkeys.

'Excellent, Goldsmith. Offering me your resignation is the best idea you've had since joining this company.'

"Mr. Rod says I make too many mistakes on the job and I need to plan to make fewer of them."

"You would get a job as a bookkeeper, soon quit and change jobs again and again. Now you are charged with being a serial embezzler."

Bonus, bonus! - we'll I got to keep the envelope my pay slip was in

"Moses' first and last day as a plumber's assistant."

"When you're counting as many beans as I was, a few are bound to stick to your plate."

"I'm an air traffic controller. Please don't ask 'What's up?'"

A white collar criminal's first day. I'm new here. How much do we tip the guards?