Whimsical Workplace Warrior Gifts

"Nobody's around. Let's chug it."

'Fairy Friday'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

37 years in the same position.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Working Late

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Laptop Dancing.

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'