Whimsical Workplace Enthusiast Gifts

"It's face painting Friday."

'These are job perks.'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

At Lego corporate headquarters.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'I call it cubicilism'

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

'Yeah, I know it's a plastic carrot: I wanted a low-maintenance system...'

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

"May I introduce Mr Thorogood from Steadfast Consultancy. If you have any problems in your departments, he's the one to blame."

'John, I like your style, and I'll be honest, I see a lot of you in me.'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Henry, you've earned one of my famous pies.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'You impressed one of our new managers in Calcutta so much, he's arranged for you to marry his daughter.'

Ok, maybe we should put him back in sales.

'What training do I get?'

'Poor chap's really embarrassed...a blogger blew the lid on all the sexual antics and affairs in top management,and he wasn't even mentioned!'

Elf of the Month

'I try to encourage creativity.'

"Phelps, I hope I'm not insulting you when I say you're an incompetent nincompoop."

Working from home.

"This one is less distracting."

Play Ball!

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic!"

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"