Whimsical Workplace Enthusiast Pillows

"It's face painting Friday."

'These are job perks.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'Yeah, I know it's a plastic carrot: I wanted a low-maintenance system...'

'I call it cubicilism'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

"May I introduce Mr Thorogood from Steadfast Consultancy. If you have any problems in your departments, he's the one to blame."

'Henry, you've earned one of my famous pies.'

'John, I like your style, and I'll be honest, I see a lot of you in me.'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'You impressed one of our new managers in Calcutta so much, he's arranged for you to marry his daughter.'

'I try to encourage creativity.'

'Poor chap's really embarrassed...a blogger blew the lid on all the sexual antics and affairs in top management,and he wasn't even mentioned!'

'What training do I get?'

Elf of the Month

"Phelps, I hope I'm not insulting you when I say you're an incompetent nincompoop."

"This one is less distracting."

Working from home.

Play Ball!

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic!"

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

Elbow room.