Quirky Workplace Fanatic Pillows

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Play Ball!

"It's face painting Friday."

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Working from home.

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

'The printer repair guy.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

'Take a letter Miss Davis.'

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

'Sorry Mr Bed-Bug, but I don't have any seedy hotel jobs available right now...'

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

"Look, it's no problem. Just tell me which Mr. Kessler you had an appointment with."

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

'I got it at a leadership seminar. When you turn it over it moos.'

'Candor is a plus.'

You're in lick Mr.Lawson.