Quirky Workplace Fanatic Pillows

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Working from home.

"It's face painting Friday."

Play Ball!

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

'The printer repair guy.'

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

'Sorry Mr Bed-Bug, but I don't have any seedy hotel jobs available right now...'

'Take a letter Miss Davis.'

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

'I got it at a leadership seminar. When you turn it over it moos.'

'Candor is a plus.'

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

"Look, it's no problem. Just tell me which Mr. Kessler you had an appointment with."

You're in lick Mr.Lawson.