Whimsical Workplace Lovers Gifts

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

Two doctors holding hands

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

'Before I show you where you'll be working, let me just say that some companies use money as an incentive. I use Vito here.'

"We will of course keep you fully uninformed."

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

'Dig in.'

'I call it cubicilism'

'When you can spare a few minutes, Bromwell, I'd like to discuss those tranquilizers your doctor has you on.'

"A few of the staff are still a little unsure of their roles in the company...so here's a quick recap."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'I get it, Smith. No raise means you'll go over to our competitor.'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

'Take this to your boss. It works for me with my teacher.'

Human resources department is a stock full of humans.

'Henry, you've earned one of my famous pies.'

"You're so consistently late that you're pretty much doing my job and docking your own hours."

'How can you be suffering from burnout? You've never really caught fire in this organization.'

"By the way, while you were off sick we located the bottle neck."

Elevator buttons read Easy Come (going up) and Easy Go (going down).

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

"I've received another 'Certificate of Appreciation' from the Queen for my hard work: Frankly, I would rather get a cash bonus or a day off..."

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

"His ability to shoulder all the blame makes him irreplaceable."

"It's face painting Friday."