Workplace Whimsy Appreciator Gifts

'I call it cubicilism'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'The negotiations were really tough this year...but the good news is that we managed to hang on to ALL the extra work!'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

Ministry of Common Sense

Secretary

'He's so obvious about it.'

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'

'Hey, when you announce pay cuts like these, you've got to expect a few howls of protest!'

Abacus manufacturer waits for virus to destroy computers.

'Any awards or honors other than bowling trophies?'